Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Looking Back and Moving Forward


A friend recently posted a blog about what you eventually or should outgrow once you’ve reached your mid-thirties. Items and activities which held such fascination as a teen or twenty-something just look pathetic once you’ve reached 35. I can think of a handful of things that fit this description: participating in Ren-Faire, dressing up and staying all weekend at Sci-Fi Conventions, Rocky Horror Picture Show and going clubbing downtown. All of these reek of youth as they should for they are opportunities to explore and seek out untried experiences without regret; to participate with wild abandonment and act with irresponsibility. Things an adult with a home and children should not do save for Vegas where it is expected.
I think back on my younger years and I did have a wild, untamed life that brought new delights every weekend: parties, clubs, concerts, friends and I hardly cared where I woke up as long as I had fun. That is not to say I would take off with some stranger for a weekend in Mexico, but I would not come home in favor of staying out with friends until 4:00 and crashing on their floor instead. It was a life beyond the fringe and I loved every sometimes painful moment. Nowadays I don’t care to stay out late, hopping from apartment to apartment and bringing a stranger home for empty loving. I want the stability of a home and a wonderful husband, parties with friends involving wine instead of tequila and drunken slobs throwing up in my purse. The laughs are just as loud and the topics just as bawdy and the events I host involve more than leftover pizza and dirty floors. No, there is no way I want to go back to those times, but I do look on them so very fondly from my 40 year old view and wouldn’t change a thing.

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